You do want to get rich easily, right? Why else would you be reading this post, dear busy, tired, hounded, mother? Imagine what you can buy if you’re rich.
Days of NOT picking up toys on the floor. Hours and hours of spa sessions to finally treat those worn muscles, manicures and pedicures daily to play up your forgotten toenails and fingernails, getting a massage…ooh. You can travel all over the world without being bogged down by cranky, screaming, bubble gum popping toddlers.
You can now buy that designer handbag you could only wish for because the groceries come first. Buy gourmet meals daily or choose to never work again. Enjoy the bliss of never using the plunger cos your toddler stuck her Duplo blocks inside the toilet. You can just dial the plumber’s, the cleaners, the magical people who make the tedious boring chores a thing of the past.
Oh the things you can buy! The freedom that comes with financial security! Never having to worry about bills, having more time for yourself! Isn’t it fantastic?
I’ve recently discovered this little trick which given time, would allow me to rake in loads and loads of cash. And I’m sharing it with you now! Yes, right now!
I’m just an ordinary mom, but I feel that my approach will work for all tired moms wanting to get rich.
I decided to charge each of my children a one peso (Php 1.00) fine everytime they say “MOM”m or my name, or any permutations of it. One Philippine peso is..I don’t know, a fraction, fraction of a dollar? It’s not much, yes? But I have full confidence that this technique will one day make me a rich woman.
Now, this is not some cuckoo plan. It’s based on a solid foundation of data and research.
My kids say my name millions of times daily.
“Mom. Where are my socks.”
“Mom, N is cutting off her hair!”
“Mom, there’s someone at the door.”
“Mom, you’re not listening.”
“Mom, can I? May I? Should I?”
And my favorite:
“MOM, where are you? I pooped!”
Oh my god. But that’s irrelevant. Think: MOM x 1,0000,000 repetitions is Php 1,000,000! I’m a daily millionaire at the very least.
Expect resistance from your kids.
“Because I say so.”
“Because my ears ar falling off.”
“Your ears are still on Mom..”
“Aha! You said “mom” give me one peso!”
“But Moom!” Two pesos!
(Oh this is sooo much fun believe me.)
They will also sneakily go around this deal.
“Can I call you Sandy instead? No.
“How about _____(inserts my full name)” No.
“Uh..Mrs_____?” Sorry but no.
“What? Then what do we call you?!” That’s your problem now.
“What if I don’t have one peso?” I’ll just leave a mark next to your name.
“In pencil?” (Sneaky!) No! In permanent ink!
“Can I give you a kiss instead?” Perfect!
“How about some hugs?” That will do just fine, yes.
“UH, your favorite cookie?” Hmm, ok.
Here is what other people are saying of this strategy:
My dad: “That will work. Me, I’d go crazy if you and your brother yelled Papa or Mama constantly.”
My Mom: “It’s good! I should have thought of that with my students.”
My neighbor’s carpenter: “Madame, your house would be less noisy..”
Be very firm. This kind of get-rich scheme easily topples down within a few days if you’re not careful.
Ideally, you should create a chart with each child’s name, date, and post that on a wall visible to everyone. That way, you see how much you’re earning every minute. Yes, this is a robust business! (Beats the trading floor of the stock exchange market, huh?)
Tell me when you’ve become rich. To date, I had 5 pesos, 2 cookies, plenty of hugs and kisses, a drawing, left-over juice, a mug of tea. All the discarded clothes in the hamper, towels on the towel rack, plants watered and Lego’s off the floor. I think I’ve made a fair bargain.
(If you have your secret get rich recipe, please tell me now?)