There is a certain melancholy that hangs in the back of my mind. Not quite a shadow, more like an entity from a parallel universe trying to break in unobtrusively. And it is this spectre that holds me back from my writing task. I realized how difficult it was when I’ve stared at my draft (for work) for more than an hour before realizing that I had been staring at my work.
I did what I always do when this mood hits. I took a nap. After 2 hours, I went back to my laptop and got the shock of my life. I had left a word document open. As I scanned it I thought I’d unknowingly copy-pasted someone’s work. The content was bossy and stentorian in its authority. The topic? Thank you notes. And as I scanned quickly down the lines, I got jolted awake. It was my writing after all. i had been putting my thoughts unthinkingly. I had fallen into one of those spaced out writing moments when you’re in the zone.
Which is highly contradictory to how I percieved my day. I percieved my day as a total waste of time. Everything felt off. Why? It was that damned melancholy feeling. perhaps it’s the changing season, summer is over and the Philippines is entering it’s wet phase.
The day started out dark and gloomy and stiflingly humid. Sunshine was nowhere to be found. When the clouds are this way, my heart grows heavy, and all i want to do is crawl back in bed and bury myself in a book, escape this reality. Be in another world built in someone else’s imagination.
As I went online to gather source materials for another topic, I chanced upon my poor neglected blog…this. And all of you who were following it. And for that, I’m truly sorry for not even popping in for a quick Hi or How are you all doing?
You see, the past 60 or so days were spent working my fingers to the bone writing for clients. At the end of the day, my mind is all tapped out. I sincerely missed writing here, and hearing from you, or reading your latest posts. But I’m back, all because of that melancholy feeling that actually seems to be lifting as I type this. (!)
It’s the thought that soon I’ll be reading your familiar comments, soon I’ll be visiting your site for your latest updates that’s making me smile. 🙂
So to the melancholy feeling, I think, it’s time for you to go. I can feel my muse approach. I’ll end my post here, for now. But know that i‘ll be posting regularly once more. Wishing you well.